4. Conclusion to the Previous Three Posts

 

          I think I can really appreciate the differences between my society and the American society regarding the attitudes towards the elder. I can conclude these posts by asserting that there is a respect and honor for the elders in my society and in the American society. Both societies have different view of what respect entitles. The values of the society determine the meaning of those values.

           The elder themselves are different in their expectations of the young. Some would like to be among their sons and daughters; others would like to join their fellows in a dormitory.

          In brief, the value of respecting the elder is established among the people of both societies; however, it has different manifestations in each one.

3. Cultural Differences towards Elders

          Having talked about the my observations on the attitudes of the young towards the elder, I would like to shed some light on the differences in both cultures concerning this topic. Culturally speaking, there is a great deal of difference towards the elder in my society and in the American society.

           One major difference is about how to treat the elder. In my society, everyone feels obliged, religiously and socially, to provide the utmost help he\she can offer to the elder. We identify treating the elder to be serving them and let them do any thing as much as possible. With this definition, we admit their favors of helping us when we needed help as children. The elder, on the other hand, expect such a help since they have sacrificed a lot. In terms of family, everyone should take care of his\her father and mother. Parents must not kept in any place other than within the family. It would be so shocking if someone leaves any of his parents for any other agency, whether governmental or private. It is seen as being loyal to those who have been doing you favors all the time.

           On the contrary, the elder in United States, as I see it, are more self-reliant than in my country. They are proud of themselves; and they would refuse someone to help. In one of my visits to an H.E.B. Store, I saw a father with impaired mobility along with his son. When the father was descending from the car and getting on his wheelchair, he missed it and fell to the ground. His son came at the same moment to help, but the father refused that help. He took the wheelchair again, and got on it. Then they went into the store. The point that I want to emphasize is that the father depends on himself and refuses any kind of help. In terms of family, parents have been useful all the time; and they cannot imagine being so idle and useless.

2. Are the Elder Respected in the United States?

 

          In my first post, I talked a little about how we show our honor and respect to our elders. Though what I mentioned in my previous post was undoubtedly right, I think it is not the only way to show respect; and indeed, it might have its shortcomings as well. I believe the American shave their own way of showing respect to their elders. Unfortunately, the movies and mass media have been portraying a dark picture of how elders are treated by the young. I came from my country with that gloomy picture in my mind. However, it turned out what was conveyed through movies and media are exaggerated to a great extent.

           While I was sitting in the terminal of Frankfort Airport, I had my first chance to observe people; and from the accent with witch they spoke, I knew they were form the United States. An old woman and her teenager son sat in front of me. They talked almost all the time; the son went to a close cafeteria and brought them breakfast. When it was announced that our next flight to Houston would take off soon, he carried his bag and his mother's as well. All of the time, he spoke so politely with his mother. I did not notice the slightest hint that this son was bothered by his mother presence.

           This incident, in particular, began to erase the old melancholy picture and to draw another cheerful one. I arrived in Houston; and there was a long line of people waiting to get through the Customs. The elders were given special care at the air port by every single employee, no matter what his job was. Since my arrival, I have had a different impression of how elders are respected. The picture has become much more optimistic.

1. Attitudes towards Elders

          In the culture wherefrom I come, the elders are highly respectable. Everyone is there to provide help at any moment. No matter what relationship you have to the old, you are obliged to respect them and to treat them with the utmost care. It is not Plato's Republic; it is the truth which can be observed on the streets and, more obvious, at homes.

           I still remember that I have never said the word “NO” to my father or my mother; neither have I felt reluctant to comply with their orders, even though if these orders are against my will. I can still remember how kids in different occasions rush to bring their fathers' shoes and put then humbly in front of their foot to wear. I did see more than once, while I was doing some governmental business, the employees give the priority to the old no matter what the number of people awaiting for him. Those who waited said: “good for you; may God reward you with good.” Not a slightest look of anger at the employee was observed.What I mention here is not because of the highly commendable ethics that young persons possess; it is rather attributed to what they have noticed in the society since they were children.

           I will leave you now with this picture of a young man carrying his old father. The pictures was taken in Mecca last year. Cars and buses were everywhere, but he insisted on doing so. When he was asked by a local newspaper's reporter about it, he replied: “my father carried me with great pleasure when I was a kid. It is now the time to return the favor. All that I want is the reward from God.”

Blackberry and iPhone

Here is a little video clip about the users of the Blackberry and iPhone. Watch and comment.

A Failure That Yields Success

 

           “To be or not to be- that is the question.” This was what came to my mind when I started searching for a job after leaving the university. I expected a great thing to happen, but what was it? I did not know. After trying so many things, I realized what I wanted to be.

After I started studying for three years at King Fahd of Petroleum and Minerals (KFUPM), I was expelled from the university due to poor academic performance. I was not shocked at that time since I knew for sure that such a thing would happen. I could not stop thinking of myself without a university degree in any field; I knew that I would have it one day. However, I had to put up with my family's disappointment; and to be frank, I did tell them in any way that I faced problems with my studies.

          After a couple of weeks, I started looking for a job. The idea that came to my mind at that point was the following: “it is no problem to start out from the zero or even below the zero because one day you will make it.” I realized very soon that I was mistaken, and that statement was as far from reality as east from west. I eventually found a job as a cashier at a small telecommunication establishment. My salary was only $400 a month, and I had to work for twelve consecutive hours a day, seven days a week. When I received my first salary, I started to calculate what I could do with it. Nothing was the first thing that came to my mind; with that salary, I would not be able to buy a car or have a home and get married. That salary could not be enough for the expenses of food and cloths. At that time particularly, I decided to return back to school and seek a university degree; I realized that a secondary school certificate would get me nowhere, and that would not be what I had already visualized Dhaif of the future.

           Regardless of this reflection on my salary and life in general, I continued to work as a cashier for eight months. Since I had that decision of returning to school again, I did not try to save money and spent it on every thing that I thought useful to me. I did entertain myself with more books, food, and cloths. As for my accommodation, I used to live with my parents and did not worry about it. After eight severe and tough months, I was offered another job as a customer service representative with a higher salary, $667, and less working hours. I worked for eight hours, four hours in the morning and four hours in the evening, with one day off. Even with that salary, I would not be able to have a good car nor get married and have a family. After two months and a half, the opportunity came to register at King Saud University (KSU) in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia.

           Riyadh was more than three hundred miles away from my hometown. Nevertheless, I was determined to study there and I knew what was the major that I would be studying; and it was none other than English Language. Just for the sake of clarification, I should say that I joined KFUPM because it was the best and I wanted to receive my degree from that university. I did not have any real interest in science or engineering which were the fields offered at KFUPM. The chance had come, I had to join the university no matter what it cost. I knew if lost that chance, I would never have any university degree at all. The reason for that was due to the higher education system in Saudi Arabia; if five years elapses without joining a university, the student cannot get admission for full-time programs. The part-time programs were limited and not as reliable as full-time programs. So, after a real hard time to get acceptance – it was another interesting story that I might write about, I made it and was offered a seat in the Department of English Language and Literature.

           The semester had started and I was determined to achieve something that should retrieve my lost self-confidence. Indeed I did. The BA program was designed to be for four years, eight semesters; however, I accomplished the program in six semesters with a very good GPA and a second class honor. I was then nominated for a teaching assistant position at the same department. It took much more time to finnish the paper work of my appointment as a TA than I expected; so I worked as a translator and English Language instructor for a year and a half in my hometown. Then, I moved back again to Riyadh to start my new career.

           I eventually got back on my feet. Yet, I have not fulfilled all that I want. In my humble opinion, if you have ambitions, you should have deeds. If you do not put your shoulders to the wheels, it means that you are asleep; and those ambitions will become, by definition, sweet dreams.