A Failure That Yields Success

 

           “To be or not to be- that is the question.” This was what came to my mind when I started searching for a job after leaving the university. I expected a great thing to happen, but what was it? I did not know. After trying so many things, I realized what I wanted to be.

After I started studying for three years at King Fahd of Petroleum and Minerals (KFUPM), I was expelled from the university due to poor academic performance. I was not shocked at that time since I knew for sure that such a thing would happen. I could not stop thinking of myself without a university degree in any field; I knew that I would have it one day. However, I had to put up with my family's disappointment; and to be frank, I did tell them in any way that I faced problems with my studies.

          After a couple of weeks, I started looking for a job. The idea that came to my mind at that point was the following: “it is no problem to start out from the zero or even below the zero because one day you will make it.” I realized very soon that I was mistaken, and that statement was as far from reality as east from west. I eventually found a job as a cashier at a small telecommunication establishment. My salary was only $400 a month, and I had to work for twelve consecutive hours a day, seven days a week. When I received my first salary, I started to calculate what I could do with it. Nothing was the first thing that came to my mind; with that salary, I would not be able to buy a car or have a home and get married. That salary could not be enough for the expenses of food and cloths. At that time particularly, I decided to return back to school and seek a university degree; I realized that a secondary school certificate would get me nowhere, and that would not be what I had already visualized Dhaif of the future.

           Regardless of this reflection on my salary and life in general, I continued to work as a cashier for eight months. Since I had that decision of returning to school again, I did not try to save money and spent it on every thing that I thought useful to me. I did entertain myself with more books, food, and cloths. As for my accommodation, I used to live with my parents and did not worry about it. After eight severe and tough months, I was offered another job as a customer service representative with a higher salary, $667, and less working hours. I worked for eight hours, four hours in the morning and four hours in the evening, with one day off. Even with that salary, I would not be able to have a good car nor get married and have a family. After two months and a half, the opportunity came to register at King Saud University (KSU) in Riyadh, the capital of Saudi Arabia.

           Riyadh was more than three hundred miles away from my hometown. Nevertheless, I was determined to study there and I knew what was the major that I would be studying; and it was none other than English Language. Just for the sake of clarification, I should say that I joined KFUPM because it was the best and I wanted to receive my degree from that university. I did not have any real interest in science or engineering which were the fields offered at KFUPM. The chance had come, I had to join the university no matter what it cost. I knew if lost that chance, I would never have any university degree at all. The reason for that was due to the higher education system in Saudi Arabia; if five years elapses without joining a university, the student cannot get admission for full-time programs. The part-time programs were limited and not as reliable as full-time programs. So, after a real hard time to get acceptance – it was another interesting story that I might write about, I made it and was offered a seat in the Department of English Language and Literature.

           The semester had started and I was determined to achieve something that should retrieve my lost self-confidence. Indeed I did. The BA program was designed to be for four years, eight semesters; however, I accomplished the program in six semesters with a very good GPA and a second class honor. I was then nominated for a teaching assistant position at the same department. It took much more time to finnish the paper work of my appointment as a TA than I expected; so I worked as a translator and English Language instructor for a year and a half in my hometown. Then, I moved back again to Riyadh to start my new career.

           I eventually got back on my feet. Yet, I have not fulfilled all that I want. In my humble opinion, if you have ambitions, you should have deeds. If you do not put your shoulders to the wheels, it means that you are asleep; and those ambitions will become, by definition, sweet dreams.